tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36468759199170964562023-11-15T06:31:29.982-08:00cool and unique taglinesShravan Mishrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06707464473480200641noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3646875919917096456.post-31113519904239926312008-08-22T02:18:00.000-07:002008-08-22T06:19:11.544-07:00Glitter graphics, Icons, Pimp your profile. <a class="select" href="http://rockystar.co.cc/">Cool collection of Glitter graphics , you will suerly find your one!!</a> <!-- multiply:no_crosspost --><p class='multiply:no_crosspost'></p>Shravan Mishrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06707464473480200641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3646875919917096456.post-79872544789937130912008-02-23T11:28:00.000-08:002008-02-23T11:30:41.692-08:00<pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">LIST OF COOL TAG LINES :</span></span><br /><br /><br />expected and so therefore one is expecting the expected?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"> on rainy Mondays?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates '81</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"90% of all statistics are made up"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."-W. Churchill</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over." - R. Frost</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience." -Doug Larson</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Apple" (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Bad knee, gotta run" - Pat Buchanan to his draft board</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Bother," said Pooh as Earnhardt won again!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Bother," said Pooh as the brakes went out!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"C++" should have been called "D"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"COINCIDENCE" happens.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more.<span style=""> </span>What Charlie thought was H20 was H2SO4."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Freedom defined is freedom denied." -The Illuminatus</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"-Judy Tenuda</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Human equality is a contingent fact of history." -Steven Jay Gould</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"I'm looking for Mr. Dover, first name Ben.."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">"I'm not smart enough to lie" - Ronald Reagan<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"If the shoe fits, buy it."<span style=""> </span>Imelda Marcos</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"It hurt real bad." -John Bobbit</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"It is not the fall that kills you.<span style=""> </span>it's the sudden stop at the end."-D. <st1:place st="on">Adams</st1:place></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Keyboard?<span style=""> </span>How quaint!" - Scotty</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Please return stewardess to original upright position"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">"Stupid" is a boundless concept.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">"Suicide Hotline...please hold."<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">"The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"The sun ain't yellow, its chicken." -Bob Dylan</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." -Mark Twain</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"There's someone in my head, but its not me." -Pink Floyd</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!" -Yoda-</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"Vote for Perot" - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"We are on an irreversable trend towards more feedom and democracy - but that could change" -D. Quayle</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"You can't have everything.<span style=""> </span>Where would you put it?"-Steven Wright</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">#28<span style=""> </span>Davey Allison<span style=""> </span>1961 - 1993</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">#7<span style=""> </span>Alan Kulwicki<span style=""> </span>1954 - 1993<span style=""> </span>Winston Cup Champion 1992</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">#include SWEEPING_GENERALITY.h</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">$$ not found --<span style=""> </span>(A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">'God wills it' may be answer enough, but God does not will what people will not do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove al doubt</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)*ckup completely?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(C)1992 Wild Bill's Machine Gun Shop and House of Wax.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(D)inner not ready:<span style=""> </span>(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(c) Copywight 1992 Elmer Fudd.<span style=""> </span>All wights wesewved.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">.....I have a husband and a dog. What the h*ll do I need kids for?!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">.ASM programmers drive stick shifts.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">1 + 1 = ?<span style=""> </span>Ask my calculator.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">1 Minute Shut Mouth Worth 1 Hour Explanation</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be skitzo!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">11 was a race-horse, 22 was 12. When 1111 race, 22112.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">1200 bps used to seem so fast</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">186,000/mps.<span style=""> </span>It's not just a good idea.<span style=""> </span>It's the law.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">2B, or not 2B, or should I use a biro.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">3 dreaded words when making love: Is that it?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">43% of all statistics are worthless.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">5 schizophrenics agree!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">668 - Neighbor of the Beast</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">69 is fine...but 77'll get me 8 more...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">9 out of 10 dentists recommend oral sex....</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">>From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">>From the Department of Redundancy Dept.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A Smith & Wesson ALWAYS beats four aces.WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY?!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A bird in the hand can be messy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A camel is a horse planned by committee.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A can of worms full of Pandora's boxes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A closed mind gathers no intelligence</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A closed mouth gathers no feet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A day for firm decisions!!!!!<span style=""> </span>Or is it?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A day not wasted is a day wasted!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A day without sunshine is like night.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A dirty book is rarely dusty.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A drawing pin is an excited Smartie</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A few cans short of a six pack, Six short.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A few fries short of a Happy Meal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A fool and his money are soon partying!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A fool must now and then be right by chance.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A friend in need is a pain in the neck.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A half moon is better than no moon at all.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A harp is a nude piano.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A horse!<span style=""> </span>A horse!<span style=""> </span>My kingdom for a horse!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A library is an arsenal of liberty.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A little greed can get you lots of stuff.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A man's only as old as the woman he feels.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A man, a plan, a canal.<span style=""> </span><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Suez</st1:place></st1:city>!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A mind is a terrible thing to taste.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A penny saved is ridiculous!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A perversion of nature....how exciting!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A pessimist is never disappointed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A rolling stone gathers momentum.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A stage? No, this is not a stage.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A waste is a terrible thing to mind.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Alex Haley was adopted!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All generalizations are bad.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All hope abandon, ye who press ENTER here</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All in all just another brick in the wall.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All stressed out, and no one to choke...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All that glitters has a high refractive index.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All the easy problems have been solved.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All things are green unless they are not.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All work and no play, will make you a manager.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Alone: In bad company.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Always draw your curves, then plot the data.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Am I really seeking answers?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Amateur Time Lord</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An Elephant;<span style=""> </span>A Mouse built to government specifications.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An idle mind is worth two in the bush.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An oyster is a fish built like a nut.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Anarchy means ignoring things that really piss you off!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And God said: E = +mv} - Ze}/r ...and there *WAS* light!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And he disappeared in a puff of logic.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And how can this be?<span style=""> </span>For he IS the Kumquat Haagen</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And it's only ones and zeros.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And now for something completely else...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And now for something completely the same...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And now for something ruder...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And the days dwindle down to a precious few...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And then it goes... BOOOOOMMMM!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And there he was, reigning supreme at number two.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Another fine product from Bastards Inc.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Antidisestablishmentarianism!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs ther\C</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Any wire cut to length will be too short.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bald: follicularly challenged.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Black Holes are Out of Sight</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Blessed are the pessimists, they make backups!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bliss *IS* ignorance</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Blood is thicker than water, and tastier.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bo Peep did it for the insurance.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bonking with Barbie..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Born Again Virgin.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Boy: A noise with dirt on it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Brain dysfunction detected....</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Brain over - Insert coin</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals 69</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Breathing may be hazardous to your health.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Britannia waives the rules.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bugger me with a fish fork..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bugs are Sons of Glitches!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bullets speak louder than reason.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bumper sticker on a hearse:<span style=""> </span>I'd rather be breathing</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bus error (Passengers dumped)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bush wears a hat so he knows which end to wipe!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">But my little voice TOLD me to do it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">But then again, I like cold toilet seats.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Buy Land Now.<span style=""> </span>It's Not Being Made Any More.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CHIP:<span style=""> </span>One <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">California</st1:place></st1:state> hi-way patrolman.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CODING:<span style=""> </span>AN addictive Drug.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">COMMAND:<span style=""> </span>A suggestion made to a computer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CRASH:<span style=""> </span><st1:place st="on">Normal</st1:place> termination.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">California</st1:place></st1:state> raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Call The Bates Motel BBS: 1-800-BIG-NIFE</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Can you find the mispelled word in hear?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Can you say "Pervert", I thought you could.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Can you tell me how to get to <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">Sesame Street</st1:address></st1:street>?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Captain's Log, star date 21:34.5.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Castration takes balls.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Catholic girls, they never confess.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Caution:<span style=""> </span>Contents under pressure</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Caution:<span style=""> </span>Hungry Dieter<span style=""> </span>May bite if provoked</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Celibacy is not hereditary.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Chastity is curable, if detected early.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Chernobyl</st1:place></st1:city> used MACs</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Choosy perverts choose GIF.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Christians do it with grace</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Clark <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kent</st1:place></st1:country-region> is a transvestite.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Clean mind, clean body:<span style=""> </span>take your pick.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cleanliness is next to impossible.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Climate is what you expect.<span style=""> </span>Weather is what you get.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Clinton</st1:place></st1:city> is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Clones are people two.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Close your eyes and press escape three times.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cocaine -- the thinking man's Aspirin.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cocaine isn't what it is cracked up to be.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Come back ya pansie! I'll bite yer legs off!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Coming Soon!!<span style=""> </span>Mouse Support for Edlin!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Common sense isn't...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Computers Rule 01001111 01001011</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Computers are useless; they can only give answers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Computers run on faith, not electrons.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Condense soup, not books!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Condom - external storage</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Condominiums are not effective birth control.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Conformity obstructs progress.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confucius say too much.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confucius say: I didn't say that!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confucius say: Man who meows ate pussy!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confuse People:<span style=""> </span>Quote from the wrong message!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Confusion not only reigns, it pours.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Conspiracy: the opiate of the asses</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Converse with any plankton lately?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Couldn't myself have better it said.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Count Dracula - your Bloody Mary is ready...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cover your stump before you hump.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Crime does not pay...as well as politics.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cunnilingus is a real tongue twister!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DILATE: To live longer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" );</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DOS 5.0<span style=""> </span>Yesterday's operating system, today!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C: mean?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dain Bramaged.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Database administrators do it with their relations</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Dawson</st1:place></st1:city>'s First Law: You don't have enough outlets.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Deaf, dumb, and blonde.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Death: to stop sinning suddenly.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Definition: pumpkin (v.): What people in <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Kentucky</st1:state></st1:place> do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Deflector shields just came on, Captain.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Democracy's GREAT! Even George Bush can chunder!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dictator - a potato with a penis.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Did I just step on someone's toes again?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Did Tarzan love Cheetah or Jane? - Pictures at 11.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Digression is education.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dime:<span style=""> </span>a dollar with all the taxes taken out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dirty tags and they're done dirt cheap.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Disks travel in packs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dislexics of the world, UNTIE!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do NOT look into laser with remaining eyeball!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do fish get thirsty?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do not disturb. Already disturbed!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do not fumble with a woman's logic.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do not put statements in the negative form.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do not remove this tagline under penalty of the law.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do steam rollers really roll steam?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do vampires get AIDS?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Do you know the way to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Jose</st1:place></st1:city>?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Doctor Who for president</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Doctor, my brain hurts!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Documentation is the castor oil of programming.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Does killing time damage eternity?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Does the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Enterprise</st1:place></st1:city> use DOS v 2356.0?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't ask me, I only work here.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't be a fool; Vulcanize your tool.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't believe in miracles, expect them.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't drink water. Fish make love in it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't just stand there, scratch my back!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't just stand there...KNEEL!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't let school interfere with your education.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't look at me in that tone of voice!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't mess with Murphy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't press the keys so damned hard!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't read everything you believe.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't rush me.<span style=""> </span>I get paid by the hour.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't start with me.<span style=""> </span>You know how I get.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't steal - the government hates competition..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't try to saw sawdust.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't use no double negatives.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't waste water.<span style=""> </span>Pee on a friend.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Down with categorical imperative!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Down with ignurance!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Drilling for oil is boring.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dudley Moore is a phallic thimble.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:place st="on">EMS</st1:place>: Enhanced Money Scam</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Easter is canceled this year.<span style=""> </span>They've found the body.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Eat Crap!<span style=""> </span>10 Trillion flies can't be wrong.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Egghead: What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Eggheads unite!<span style=""> </span>You have nothing to lose but your yolks.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ego Gratification through Violence</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Elevators smell different to midgets</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Email me the rules, please!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Enough research will tend to support your theory.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Enter that again, just a little slower.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Eschew obfuscation.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Evangelists do more than lay people.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Every purchase has its price.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Every why hath a wherefore.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everyone is entitled to my opinion.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everything bows to success, even grammar.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everything in our favor was against us.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Excellent time to become a missing person.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Exploding piglets!!!<span style=""> </span>My god, it's raining bacon!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">FOR <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">SALE</st1:place></st1:city>: Iraqi rifle.<span style=""> </span>Never fired.<span style=""> </span>Dropped once.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fact is solidified opinion</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Facts are stubborn things.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fad: In one era and out the other.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fahrvergnkie: (n) Sex in a Volkswagen.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Familiarity breeds attempt</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Familiarity breeds children.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Famous last words - Jesus Christ: Father, beam me up.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Famous last words - Lion at the Circus of Rome: Burp..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Famous last words - You and what army?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Faster cars, colder beer, younger women, more money!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Features should be discovered, not documented.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Felines... nothing more than felines...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fer sell cheep:<span style=""> </span>IBM spel chekker.<span style=""> </span>Wurks grate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fish and visitors stink in three days.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Flames to dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Floppy not responding. Format hard drive instead? (Y/N)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Food is an important part of a balanced diet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fools rush in where Fools have been before!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">For <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Sale</st1:place></st1:city>: Slightly used message. Enquire within.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">For sale, Toilet-seat cover.<span style=""> </span>Barely used.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">For the finest in brain candy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Forget the computer!<span style=""> </span>Where's my abacus??</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Fortune vomits on my eiderdown yet again.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Four minus two is one and the same.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Free advice is worth what you pay for it</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Friendly fire - ISN'T !</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Friendship is one soul in two bodies.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Funny, only sensible people agree with me.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">GET A HAIRCUT!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">GODISNOWHERE</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">General Failure reading John Dvorak</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Genitalia is not an Italian airline.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">George Orwell was an optimist.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Get a powerful right arm: subscribe to Playboy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Get the facts first - you can distort them later!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Give a woman an inch<span style=""> </span>and she'll park a car in it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Go Lemmings, Go!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Go ahead, make my.....GODDAM COMPUTER WORK RIGHT!!!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God I hate floppies.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God I want patience, and I WANT IT NOW!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God does not play dice.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God heals and the doctor takes the fee.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God invented women because sheep can't cook.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God is alive - he just doesn't want to get involved.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">God is love...<span style=""> </span>Love is blind...<span style=""> </span>Ray Charles is God!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Going the speed of light is bad for your age.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Good day to let down old friends who need help.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.....</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gotta love me!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gravity brings me down</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gravity doesn't exist.<span style=""> </span>The Earth sux.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Great minds travel in the same sewers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Greed is good!<span style=""> </span>Greed is right!<span style=""> </span>Greed works!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Grow your own dope...<span style=""> </span>plant a man</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Growing older is mandatory... growing up is optional!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Grub first, then ethics.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gun Control means holding it in both hands.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Gun Control: Keep muzzle pointed at target.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Guns don't kill people... death does.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Guns don't kill people..., I KILL PEOPLE!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Guten TAG.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">H lp!<span style=""> </span>S m b d<span style=""> </span>st l<span style=""> </span>ll th<span style=""> </span>v w ls fr m m<span style=""> </span>k yb<span style=""> </span>rd!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">HAL 9000, you're pretty drunk aren't you Dave?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">HARDWARE: n. The part you kick.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">HEY YOU!!!!!!!!! STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">HIC! HLLP I'M STUSCT IN BOOOZZZE WAREHUSE</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hackito ergo sum.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hailing frequencies open, Captain.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hams do it with frequency, till their gigahertz.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Happiness is a warm gun.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Happiness is a warm modem</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Happiness is not a destination.<span style=""> </span>It's the trip.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hard work must have killed someone!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Harry Gant #33 - the Bandit's Last Run 1994</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Has it ever rained cats and dogs?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Have Tardis, will travel.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Have an adequate day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Have cursor, will curse.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He has Van Gogh's ear for music.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who Laughs, Lasts.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who dies with the most access, wins.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who hesitates is constipated.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who hesitates too long, must change his underwear.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who hesitates.........miss'es out !!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who laughs last probably made a backup.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who laughs, lasts.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who let woman on top is fucking up.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who lives by the sword eats with bloody hands.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who lives by the sword laughs last.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He who shouts the loudest has the floor.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He's dead, Jim.<span style=""> </span>You take his phaser, I'll get his wallet</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">He's dim, Jed</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Heads I win... DITTO tails</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hell Hath No Pizza.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hell, if you understood everything I said, you'd be me!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hello, I am part # !|* ||***| | * *** *| |||* |*</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help fight continental drift.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help stamp out, eliminate, and abolish redundancy!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help!<span style=""> </span>I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help!<span style=""> </span>I've been stuck in here for years and years...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Here today, gaunt tomorrow.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hey!<span style=""> </span>Hacker!<span style=""> </span>Leave those lists alone!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hey!<span style=""> </span>This is a morgue, not an amusement park!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hey!<span style=""> </span>Who took the cork off my lunch??!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hey!! When in Doubt Whip it Out!!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hey, shit happens!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hi!<span style=""> </span>I can't remember your name either.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hindsight is always 20:20.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hindsight is an exact science.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hollow chocolate has no calories</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Holy Smokes!...."the church is on fire!"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Honest!<span style=""> </span>It's only a cold sore!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Honey, I'll be down in 10 minutes, I promise this time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Honeymoon - the morning after the knot before.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Honeymoon: time between "I do" and "you'd better"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Honk if you love peace and quiet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Housework done properly, can kill you</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Houston</st1:place></st1:city>! do you read.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How come wrong numbers are never busy?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How do you get holy water?... Boil the hell out of it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How do you pronounce my name?<span style=""> </span>With reverence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How do you write zero in Roman numerals?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How does one expect the unexpected?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How long is a short story?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How long will a floating point operation float?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How many weeks are there in a light year?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How much can I get away with and still go to heaven.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Humpty dumpty was pushed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I PROMISE - I won't upload in your mouth!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I always get my muckin words fuddled</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I always like to try the one I've never tried before.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am a vampire.<span style=""> </span>Please wash your neck.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am both of us & so are you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am functioning within established parameters.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am serious.<span style=""> </span>And don't call me Shirley.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I am sweet and lovable at all times.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I appreciate your not breathing while I smoke</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I believe in a god which doesn't need heavy financing</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I bet you I could stop gambling.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I bought a cordless extension cord.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can resist anything but temptation.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I could be arguing in my spare time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I could prove God statistically.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I couldn't care less about apathy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I distinctly remember forgetting that.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I do not fear computers.<span style=""> </span>I fear the lack of them.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I don't want the world, I just want your half.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I drink to make other people interesting.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I feel the need......the need for speed!!! - Maverick Mitchell 1987</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I find myself beside a stream of empty thought</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I get mail........ I exist.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I give advice worth the price....free!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I guess a cynic smells different.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have a speech impediment... my foot.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have already not made that point</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have given my pain a name..!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have seen the evidence.<span style=""> </span>I want DIFFERENT evidence!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in astronomy</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I is knot dain bramaged!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I just bought a cured ham.<span style=""> </span>Wonder what it had?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I know everything about everything, except that.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like to leave messages *before* the beep.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like to reminisce with people I don't know.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like two kinds of women: domestic and foreign.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like women with big... HEARTS!<span style=""> </span>YEAH! THAT's it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I like your approach, now let's see your departure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I look better on a woman!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I lost a button hole today.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I lost my knickers at <st1:place st="on">Niagara</st1:place>.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I never met a chocolate I didn't like!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I post.......... I am</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I promise results, not promises.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I snatch kisses. (and vice versa)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I think, therefore I am.<span style=""> </span>I think.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I think................I am paid.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I thought I was mistaken but I was mistaken.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walk.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I tried switching to gum but couldn't keep it lit.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I wake near the end of the day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I warn you not to underestimate my powers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I would jog, but the ice would fall out of my glass.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Luke.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but my patent is pending.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but none of my socks match.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd rather have a 3.5" hard one than a 5.25" floppy one</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'd tell you more more, but you might blush.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'll get you my pretty,<span style=""> </span>and your little dog too!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'll have what the guy in the casket had.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm just looking at your nametag, honest!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm making a career of evil.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm new and what's all this then?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not as dumb as you look.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not as thunk as you drink I am.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not even going to ignore that.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not lost, but I don't know where I am.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not on drugs.<span style=""> </span>I am drugs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm not tense, just terribly A*L*E*R*T!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm on the crest of a slump.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm pink, therefore I'm spam</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm schizophrenic, What are you?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm the person your mother warned you about.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I'm turning you in to the SPCA!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've got Parkinson's disease.<span style=""> </span>And he's got mine.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've got morals. I just don't know where they are.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've had a hard drive, think I'll crash.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've had fun before.<span style=""> </span>This isn't it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've seen the future.<span style=""> </span>I can't afford it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">I've upped my standards, SO UP YOURS!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">IBM: I've Been Misled</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If Einstein Had Been Black It would be E=MC Hammer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I can't win, I don't wanna play!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I shot myself, my ex would sue me for the bullet</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I want any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If I were two faced, would I wear this one?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits !</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If all the ladies bend over, I would be very happy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If at first you don't succeed, you've failed failed again</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If in doubt, make it sound convincing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it feels good do it, and if it does good feel it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it glows don't touch it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it has tits or tires, there will be problems.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it isn't broken, don't fix it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it isn't original, it isn't sin.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it screams it's not food......yet.<span style=""> </span><></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it works, tear it apart and find out why!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If little else, the brain is an educational toy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If rainy days and Mondays get you down, what do you do</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If this is heaven, why am I bored out of my skull?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If wishes were horses, dogfood would be a lot cheaper.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If ya can't beat 'em.......RUN!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you can read this you have a modem.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you can't be good, be careful.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you can't be offensive WHY BOTHER?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you can't debug it, deplug it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." B. Gates</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you can't make it good, make it big.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you cannot convince them, confuse them.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you don't think women are explosive, drop one!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you have nothing to say, please only say it once!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you meet Ken Thompson on the road, kill him.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you mess with something long enough it'll break.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you prick me, do I not get turned on?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you want your name spelt wrong, die.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you're a typical student, consider the fact there is</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">If your behind is in front, you turned around!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ignorance can be cured.<span style=""> </span>Stupid is forever.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Illiterate?... Write for free help.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Imagery is All In The Mind.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Immoral Majority Charter Member.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Impropriety is the soul of wit.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In God we trust, all others pay cash.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In God we trust.<span style=""> </span>All others must pay cash.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In a fight between you and the world, back the world.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In politics stupidity is not a handicap.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">In war there is no substitute for victory.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Individualists of the world, UNITE!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Inertia makes the world go round.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ingres is not a necessary precursor to Egress.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Innuendo: Italian Suppository.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Insanity is hereditary.<span style=""> </span>You get it from your kids.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Interchangeable parts won't.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Interstellar Matter is a Gas</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Iraq</st1:place></st1:country-region> won the toss... and elected to receive.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Iraq</st1:place></st1:country-region>'s national bird?, "DUCK"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Iraqi Bingo<span style=""> </span>B-52..F-16..A-10.. F-18..F-117..B-2</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is FIDO a dog?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is a castrated pig disgruntled?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is it possible to feel gruntled.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is that a hard drive or are you just happy to see me?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is this a machine?<span style=""> </span>I don't talk to machines!<span style=""> </span>[Click]</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is this bullshit or fertilizer?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Is this the right room for an argument?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It ain't easy being easy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It depends on which end he tries to light.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It did what?<span style=""> </span>Well, it's not supposed to do that.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is better to wear out than to rust out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is broke.<span style=""> </span>It will not work.<span style=""> </span>It does not go.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is much easier to be critical than to be correct</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It is not enough to succeed.<span style=""> </span>Others must fail.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It really bothers me when people cut me o...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It works better if you plug it in.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's Tekonojikly better!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's a Tough Job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's bad luck to be superstitious.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's been a business doing pleasure with you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's better to burn out than to fade away.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's clever, but is it art?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's hard to be serious when you're naked.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's life Jim, but not as we know it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's like Deja Vu all over again...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's more than a reader.<span style=""> </span>It's a message base manager!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's never too late to have a happy childhood</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's only ones and zeros.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's over when the fat lady sits on your face.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's smart to pick your friends -- but not your nose.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's smart to pick your friends, but not to pieces.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's smart to pick your friends, but not your nose.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">It's worse than that, he's dead Jim.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Its a JOKE, like the funny kind but different.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ivan Poorovitch, <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Russia</st1:place></st1:country-region>'s new premier.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ivo Andric - <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Yugoslavia</st1:place></st1:country-region>'s First Nobel Laureate</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">JFK: I need this motorcade like a hole in my head!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">JOYSTICK:<span style=""> </span>Peripheral used by consulting adults.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">James Bond rules.<span style=""> </span>00K.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jeez if you love honkus</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jesus Christ is the answer. Now, what was your question</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jesus Saves!<span style=""> </span>But Gretzky scores on the rebound.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jesus is coming back, and boy, is he ticked!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jesus saves, Gretsky steals, he shoots, HE SCORES!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Junior! Quit playing with your floppy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Junk - stuff we throw away.<span style=""> </span>Stuff - junk we keep.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Just because you're STUPID ain't no excuse.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Just how much leg have I got</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Just my two rubber ningis worth.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Justice is incidental to law and order.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Justice: A decision in your favor.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced only need apply.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Karma, Let me guess, The Toyota Factory!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Keep NZ Beautiful....<span style=""> </span>emigrate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Keep NZ beautiful.<span style=""> </span>Swallow your beer cans.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kill them all!<span style=""> </span>.... Let God sort them out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kilroy occupied these coordinates.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kite fliers keep it up longer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kleptomania: take something for it</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Kleptomaniac: A rich thief.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Know God...No peace.<span style=""> </span>No God...Know peace.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Know what I hate?<span style=""> </span>I hate rhetorical questions!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">LATER..........AS IN MUCH!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">LISP:<span style=""> </span>To call a spade a thpade.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Land of the Single Entendre...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Lawyers: The larval form of politicians.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Learn to splel, danmit!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Let him who is stoned cast the first sin.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Liberal - a power worshiper without power.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is Roff when yer Stewpid</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is a series of very rude awakenings.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is a sexually transmitted disease</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is anything that dies when you stomp it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is like a Car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is only as long as you live it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is serious, but ART is fun!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life sucks, but Death swallows!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life would be easier if I had the source code.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life's a bitch, and then you marry one.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life's a witch, then you fly.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Likes and dislikes are among my favorites</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Linux, the choice of a GNU generation.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Liposuction will destroy your FAT</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Live before you die.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Living poor is best left to those with no money.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Love is grand.<span style=""> </span>Divorce is twenty grand.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Love your neighbor but don't get caught.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">M.A.D.D.:<span style=""> </span>Midgets Against Desk Drawers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">MASTURBATION...the human version of AUTOEXEC.BAT.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">MOPAR<span style=""> </span>=<span style=""> </span>Move Over <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Plymouth</st1:place></st1:city> Approaching Rapidly!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Macho does not prove Mucho.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make it do ... Or do without.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make like a Tom and Cruise.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make like a bottom and split.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make like a drum and beat it!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make like a tree and leave.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Man has his will.<span style=""> </span>Woman has her won't!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Man who get hit by car,get that run down feeling</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Man with athletic finger make broad jump.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Marching to a different kettle of fish.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Marilyn Monroe?<span style=""> </span>A vacuum with nipples.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Marriage?<span style=""> </span>Sorry, I can't mate in captivity.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Marry your mistress, create a job vacancy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Master Baiter</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mastermind specialist subject - the bleedin' obvious..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Masturbation is coming unscrewed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Math is the language God used to write the universe.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">May the Porsche be with you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">May you live in interesting times.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">May your life be filled with experiences.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Me know gammar.<span style=""> </span>Me cood use it gud.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Megabyte: A nine course dinner.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Memory is a thing we forget with.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Men play the game; women know the score.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Microfiche: Sardines.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mind if I rape your daughter</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Modem sex begins with a handshake.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Modem sex, the next best thing to being there.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Modems.....reach out and BYTE someone!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mondays are the potholes in the road of life</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Money is the root of all wealth.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Most gays have heterosexual parents.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Most of us have been at work for several hours now.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mother Nature is a bitch.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Mother is the invention of necessity.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Multitasking causes schizophrenia.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Murphy is out there... waiting...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Murphy was an optimist.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My Go<span style=""> </span>amn keyboar<span style=""> </span>oesn't have any<span style=""> </span>'s!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My God can beat up YOUR god...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My I.U.D. picks up Radio Windy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My best friend is a social worker.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My computer has a terminal illness</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My computer puts out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My couch potato routine honed to perfection</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My foolish parents taught me to read and write.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My karma ran over my dogma</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My keyboard has an F1 key. Where is the NASCAR key?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My kingdom for a beer; half my beer for a woman.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My lord, I have a cunning plan...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My lucky color just faded.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My message above.<span style=""> </span>Your response here ____________.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My modem can beat up your modem.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My other car is a broom!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My other computer is a abacus.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My tagline can beat up your tagline!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">NO MORE BU__ SH__</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">NUMBER CRUNCHING:<span style=""> </span>Jumping on a Computer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Naaah, real men don't read docs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Neil Armstrong tripped.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Neurotic: Self-taut person.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never assume.<span style=""> </span>It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never before have so few puked so much on so many.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never eat yellow snow!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never go with the odds</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never hit a man with glasses.<span style=""> </span>Use your fist!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never mind the facts - I know what I know.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never shove your granny while she's shaving.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">New Highway gets Railroaded.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Next time you wave, use ALL of your fingers!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nihilism should commence with oneself.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nil taurus excretum.<span style=""> </span>No <st1:place st="on">El Toro</st1:place> Poopoo either!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ninety per cent of everything is crap.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nitpicking:<span style=""> </span>Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nitrate:<span style=""> </span>Lower than the day rate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No .sig is a good .sig</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No free lunch in an ecosystem.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No matter what they SAY, size IS important!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No matter where you go, there you are.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No sense being pessimistic.<span style=""> </span>It wouldn't work anyway.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No wanna work... wanna bang on keyboard!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No, I'm from NZ. I only work in Outer Space.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">No?!<span style=""> </span>Some people still read mail a packet at a time?!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nodding the head does not row the boat.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Not many people realize just how well known I am.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Not quite human any longer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Not tonight honey... I have a modem</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing recedes like success.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing succeeds like excess.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nothing this evil EVER dies!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Now is not a good time to annoy me</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Now is the time for all good men to come to.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Now where did I put that rubber doll?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nudist Camp sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Nuke the baby seals for Jesus</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">ORG.ASM Not Found.<span style=""> </span>Wife not happy!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">OS/2 - Not just another pretty program loader!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">OS/2 - Windows with bullet-proof glass.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">OUCH! Got my floppy caught in my PKZipper!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oh no you don't!<span style=""> </span>Your not stealing this one!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oh no, not another learning experience!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oh yeah? Well, beam *THIS* up, pal!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">On the other hand, you also have 5 fingers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">On the unlabeled disk? HELL they're all unlabeled!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Once I thought I was wrong - but I was mistaken</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One atom bomb can really ruin your day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One good turn gets most of the blanket.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One in Kate Bush is worth two in the Hand.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One legged girls are pushovers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One man's Windows are another man's walls.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One man's meat is another's editor</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One man's upload is another man's download</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One night I came home very late. It was the next night</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Only God can make random selections.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Only a wimpy God can't get it right the first time!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Only consume alcohol on days ending in "Y!"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Only the winners decide what were war crimes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Open mouth. Insert Foot. Echo internationally.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Open your drive door, honey.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Optimization hinders evolution.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Originality is the art of concealing your sources.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oxymoron - Definite possibility</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oxymoron - Military Intelligence</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Oxymoron: <st1:place st="on">Soviet Union</st1:place>.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Bell</st1:place></st1:city> Labs</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">PIMP: a fornicaterer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">PMS- Presentation Manager Syndrome.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pagan Missionary</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pagan and Proud</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Palindrome isn't one.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Paranoia is heightened awareness.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pascal:<span style=""> </span>What's it Wirth?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Peace through superior firepower.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Peanuts: The Drinking Man's Filter.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">People are always available for work in the past tense.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">People who live in glass houses shouldn't!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">People will die this year that never died before</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Permission for lip to wobble, Sir?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Photographers do it in dark rooms.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pi R squared.<span style=""> </span>Nooo!<span style=""> </span>Pie R round, cornbread R square!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pizza IS the four food groups!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Please don't drink and post.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Please don't filter this twit</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Please don't take my sunshine away.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pobody's Nerfect!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Poets go from bad to verse</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Police Blotter: Energizer Bunny Charged with <st1:place st="on">Battery</st1:place>!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Polymer physicists are into chains.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pornography? We don't even have a pornograph!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Power corrupts, but we need electricity.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Praise the lord and pass the ammunition.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Predestination was doomed from the start.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Prepare to meet thy GOD! (Evening dress optional)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Press -- to continue.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Press all the keys at once to continue...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Pretend to spank me.<span style=""> </span>I'm a pseudo-masochist.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Procrastination:<span style=""> </span>The art of keeping up with yesterday.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Programmers do it in loops.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Programmers get overlaid!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Programming is an art form that fights back.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Progress is made on alternate Fridays.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Prosecutors will be violated</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Psychiatrists stay on your mind.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Psychologists only do it if they feel good about it</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Psychologists want you tested before they do it</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Push any key. Then push the any other key.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Push the limit, and the limit will move away!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Put people on hold when possible.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Queen Elizabeth rules, <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">UK</st1:place></st1:country-region>?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Question Authority, ask me anything</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">REALITY.DAT not found. Press any key to reset Universe.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable To Recover Universe</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">RECOVER.COM: a little slice of hell</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">RESTORE A: C:\VIRGINITY\*.* /S</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Rampaging anarchist horde and floating beer party</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Rap music is Oxymoron</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Read what I mean, not what I write.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Real men don't set for stun.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Real men write self-modifying code.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reality Is An Illusion Caused By Lack Of Acid</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Really ??<span style=""> </span>What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Recursive, adj.; see Recursive</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Refuse Novocain...Transcend Dental Medication!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Regal Lager, It's not just a beer... It's a palindrome!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Religion ... is the opium of the masses.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Remember that you are unique.<span style=""> </span>Just like everyone else.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Remember when safe sex meant not getting caught?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Remember, If you're not in bed by 10:30..... go home!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reputation:<span style=""> </span>what others are not thinking about you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Resistance Is Useless!<span style=""> </span>(If <></a><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reusable Condoms: Just shake the fuck out of them.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Richard Nixon means never having to say you're sorry</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Roses are red, and violets are too expensive for you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Round up the usual suspects!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Round, round, get around. I've gotten round!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Rubber bands have snappy endings!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:place st="on">Rugby</st1:place> is played by men with odd-shaped balls!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">SPECIMEN: An Italian astronaut.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">STRING space corrupt?<span style=""> </span>But I always use TAPE!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP!<span style=""> </span>Park elsewhere!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">SUSHIDO<span style=""> </span>the way of the tuna</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">SYNTAX?<span style=""> </span>Why not--they tax everything else!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">SYSOP's read minds.<span style=""> </span>But QWKly, very, very QWKly!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Saddam eats his Kurds</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sarcasm: barbed ire.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Save a whale, harpoon a fat person.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Save energy: be apathetic.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Save fuel.<span style=""> </span>Get cremated with a friend.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Save the whales!<span style=""> </span>Trade them for valuable prizes!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Say it with flowers - Give her a triffid.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Schizophrenia beats being alone.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Schizophrenia rules.<span style=""> </span>OK.<span style=""> </span>OK.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Science asks why.<span style=""> </span>I ask why not.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Science: preconception meeting verification.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Scientists discover life causes cancer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">See how you can be?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Send lawyers, guns, & money...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sentient plasmoids are a gas.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Serfs up! - Spartacus</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Serving the scum of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Paris</st1:place></st1:city> for over 300 years</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Set mode=Extremely verbose</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sex is only a pain in the arse if you miss</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sex on TV can't hurt you unless you fall off!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sex, Sex, Sex... the pleasure of having a 1 track mind.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sex: the most fun you can have without laughing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sexual Harassment starts at the office.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Shareware author dies:<span style=""> </span>.GIF at eleven!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">She is blonde/tall/beautiful, and as a Z80 for a brain</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">She was another one of his near Mrs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Short people are vertically challenged.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sign here please:_______________________Thanks</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... "Gone Fission"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Simon says: don't be so suggestible.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sit down, you're rocking the boat!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Slit your wrists - it will lower your blood pressure.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Slower Traffic Keep Right<span style=""> </span>-<span style=""> </span>Is that so difficult?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Smash forehead on keyboard to continue</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Smile if you are Jesus</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Smurf exterminator.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">So dry & yet so wet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">So many bytes, so few cps.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">So many damsels, so little time</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">So many lawyers, so few bullets.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">So many toys, so little time...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">So much time, and so little to do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Software means never having to say you're finished</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Some days, nothing goes left.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Some people are afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Some people are so nice to be nasty to.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Some things have got to be believed to be seen.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Something is rotten in the state of confusion.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sometimes they just grow, and grow, and grow...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sorry about your Rectocranial Inversion.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sorry, my English is not very good. No punt intended.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Space is big.<span style=""> </span>Really big.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Spell chequers dew knot work write.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Spelling problems? use "error-correcting" modems!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Spice is the variety of life.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Squeeze my Lemon, till the juice runs down my leg...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Stamp out philately!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Stand on the toilet, get high on pot.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Standing there making a sitting target of himself.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Stealth condoms: she'll never even see you coming...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sterility is hereditary.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Strike any user when ready.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Strip mining prevents forest fires.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Stroking a furry pussy will get you scratched.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Subvert the dominant paradigm!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Supernovae are a Blast</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Support the helpless victims of computers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Surprise your boss.<span style=""> </span>Get to work on time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Swish, two, three, four!<span style=""> </span>Swish, two, three, four!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">System Crash<span style=""> </span>(A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">THIS definitely takes, eats and shits the cake.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">TV is chewing gum for the eyes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tact: knowing how far to go too far.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tact: making a point without making an enemy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tampons $1 a dozen! No strings attached!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Taurus Excretum Ad Infinitum....</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Techno Pagan.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Terminator bumpersticker: I TIME TRAVEL NAKED.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Texas</st1:place></st1:state> Toilet paper, it don't take s**t off anyone.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Thank you very little.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">That ain't so good English!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">That that is is not that that is not.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">That was ZEN -- this is TAO</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">That'll be $67.50<span style=""> </span>CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The 11th COMMANDMENT - Thou shalt not be a smartass!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The French defense isn't...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The Lab called,..... Your brain is ready!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The Official Offline Reader of The Lunatic Fringe!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Rome</st1:place></st1:city> without it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The ballot is stronger than the bullet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The best way to accelerate a Mac is at -9.8 m/s}</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The best way to win an argument is to be right.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The buck doesn't even slow down here!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The cause of problems are solutions!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The cream rises to the top.<span style=""> </span>So does the scum...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The dog ate my .REP packet.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The drunker I sit here, The longer I get.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The first blonde is the cheapest.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with i</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The first myth of management is that it exists.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The fish that escaped is the big one.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The floggings will continue until morale improves!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The further I go, the behinder I get.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The game's a little bit wide open again.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The gene pool has no lifeguard.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The hangman let us down.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The little engineer that could</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The longer the title, the less important the job.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The margin is very marginal.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The moral majority is neither.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The patient's taken a turn for the nurse.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The pendulum has gone full circle.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The polls show 8 out of 5 schizophrenics agree!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The rich get richer; the poor get babies.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The road to success is always under construction.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The score didn't really reflect the outcome.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The shortest distance between two points is off the wall</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The simple explanation always follows the complex solution</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The superfluous is very necessary.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The unnatural, that too is natural.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The vine Jane! No the vine! aaiiieeeee...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The whole world is about three drinks behind</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The world is coming to an end.<span style=""> </span>Please log off.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The world is so big and so global now.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The worst day's fishing is better than the best day's w</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The worst thing about censorship is **************************.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Then do the pelvic thrust.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream....</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There are many things I could say...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There are no atheists in the foxholes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There is an exception to every rule, except this one.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There is much Obiwan did not tell you.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">There is no God! He just thinks he's there!<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There is no dark side of the moon.<span style=""> </span>Really.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">There is no remedy for fun but more fun!<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">There is no vaccine against stupidity.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">There is something to be said about me: "Wow!!"<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There will be no last bus tonight.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There's no future in time travel</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There's no such thing as a free lunch, but you can always find someone willing to treat.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There's one in every car... You'll see.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Things will be fine as soon as you realize that I AM GOD AND YOU (TAG) ARE IT!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Think "HONK" if you're a telepath</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Think hard now!<span style=""> </span>Which one is Shinola?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This is abuse.<span style=""> </span>Arguments are down the hall.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This isn't hell, but I can see it from here.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This isn't right.<span style=""> </span>This isn't even wrong.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This line intentionally left unjustified.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This message has been UNIXized for your protection.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This mind intentionally left blank.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This phone is baroque; please call Bach later.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This program makes me look like a genius.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This tagline is SHAREWARE!<span style=""> </span>To Register, send me $10.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">This tagline was created from many little letters.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Those who can't write, write manuals.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Those who can, do.<span style=""> </span>Those who can't, simulate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Those who can, do.<span style=""> </span>Those who can't, supervise!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Those who live by the nit, die by the nit</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Thy logick, like thy locks, is disarrayed;</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tie a yellow ribbon around Jane Fonda's neck..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tis better to be hunter than hunted.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">To all virgins. <span style=""> </span>Thanks for nothing<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To be or Not is the Result!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To do nothing is also a good remedy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To eat is human, to digest, divine.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To err is human. To moo bovine</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Todays subliminal message is "<span style=""> </span>"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tolkien is hobbit-forming.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Too bad stupidity isn't painful.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Too much month at the end of the money.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Took an hour to bury the cat. Silly thing kept moving.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Trees hit cars only in self-defence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Turning floppies into hard drives.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Two elephants fell off a cliff. Boom Boom.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Two is company, three is an orgy.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Two peanuts went to <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state>. One was assaulted.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Two seals fell off a cliff.<span style=""> </span>Arf Arf</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Two's company, three's the result.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Typographers rule, OQ</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">UART what UEAT!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">UFO's are real: the Air Force doesn't exist.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Ultimate Question Research Team</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Useless as windshield wipers on a duck's ass.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Users, losers -- what's the difference?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">VD is nothing to clap about.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">VLSI:<span style=""> </span>"Getting High On Low Voltage"</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Variables won't; constants aren't.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Veterinarians drive like animals.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Vidi, Vici, Veni:<span style=""> </span>I saw, I conquered, I came</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Virginity can be cured.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Vulcans have less fun.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WAITER! there's soup in my fly!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WOMAN.ZIP... Great program but no documentation.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WOMEN: Weird Obnoxious Male Enticing Nymphs</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WWhhaatt<span style=""> </span>ddooeess<span style=""> </span>dduupplleexx<span style=""> </span>mmeeaann??</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WYGIWYD -What you got, if what you deserve.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Walls impede my progress</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Want a jelly baby?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Wanted - Man to wash dishes and two waitresses.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Wanted: Volcano.<span style=""> </span>Average size.<span style=""> </span>Must be active.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Warning:<span style=""> </span>Whimsical when bored</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Was it as good for you, as it was for me?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Was that your wife I saw in that GIF.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Was today really Necessary?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Wasting time is an important part of living.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Water + Malt + Hops + Yeast = Satisfaction</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Wave to your neighbor, Word to your mother.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We are not a clone.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We are the people our parents warned us about</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We have here the latest in primitive technology.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We take drugs very seriously at my house...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We'll get along fine just as soon as you realize that I am the GODESS!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">We're lost, but we're making good time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Welcome to <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">New Zealand</st1:place></st1:country-region>, set your watch back 20 years.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Well, pluck me naked as a scalded chicken!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What can you do for me?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What care I how time advances: I am drinking ale today.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What color is a chameleon on a mirror?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What could possibly go wrong.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What do batteries run on?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What do you call a female clown? A Clunt :-)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What do you feed a Trojan horse? A latex lollipop!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What do you mean that 2 years have passed??</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What do you think?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What does ignorant mean?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What does this red button do?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What else can you do at 3:00 am?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What's Irish and stays out all night? Pati O'furniture.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">What's brown and sticky? A stick!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">When 911 won't work .357 will!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">When in doubt, think.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">When your opponent is down, kick him.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Where does weight go when you lose it?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Who cares how it plays in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Peoria</st1:place></st1:city>?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Who glued the cup to the table?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Who is "they" anyway?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Who put the "arse" in Arsenio?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Whoever has the most when he dies... WINS!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Whoops, stepped on a frog.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why am I asking all these things?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why are you wasting time reading taglines?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why be a man when you can be a success?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why can't we just spell it orderves?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why did the Albanion working class revolt?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why did you read this?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why do people cry when they're sad?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why do the Kennedy men cry after sex?<span style=""> </span>MACE.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why do they tell us to watch "The Today Show" tomorrow?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why do women wear a pair of panties and one bra?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why do you think they call it "find"?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why get even, when you can get odd?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Winston Peters, a rebel without a caucus.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Winter is nature's way of saying "up yours".</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Wit is cultured insolence.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">With a mind like yours, who needs a body.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">With friends like these, who needs to hallucinate?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">With friends like you, who needs enemas.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Without Time, everything would happen at once.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Without music, life would be a mistake.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Woman was God's second mistake.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Women - can't live with 'em and no resale value...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Women do come with instructions; ask them.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Women get minks the same way minks get minks.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Women, can't live with'um, can't shoot'um.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Work is for people who can't</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">World ends today at 9:30 pm!<span style=""> </span>Film at 11:00...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Worry : The interest paid on trouble before it's due</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Would I ask you a rhetorical question?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Would a virgin be called a notyeterosexual?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">You buttered your bread, now lie in it.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">You hit the nail right between the eyes.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">You want I should bop you with this here Lollipop?!?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Your feet have balls but not vice versa?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Your friendly neighborhood Atheist.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available - Enquire Within</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">[DISCLAIMER:<span style=""> </span>my fingers are epileptic]</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">[If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">velcro.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><o:p> </o:p></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All computers wait at the same speed.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">All wiyht. <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Rho</st1:city></st1:place> sritched mg kegtops awound?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">An error?<span style=""> </span>Impossible!<span style=""> </span>My modem is error correcting.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">BREAKFAST.COM Halted...<st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Cereal</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Port</st1:placetype></st1:place> Not Responding</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Best file compression around:<span style=""> </span>"<st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">DEL</st1:place></st1:state> *.*" = 100% compression</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Buy a Pentium/90 so you can reboot faster.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Does fuzzy logic tickle?</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><st1:place st="on">E Pluribus</st1:place> Modem</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com">Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS</a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre><pre><a href="http://vonkerz.com"><span style="color:red;">My software never has bugs.<span style=""> </span>It just develops random features.<o:p></o:p></span></a></pre></pre>Shravan Mishrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06707464473480200641noreply@blogger.com0